There are certain precautions that should be taken when you're operating in the on-line dating world and certainly when you take on-line to off-line action. Because every situation is different, there is no way to insure against all risks, but you can actively protect yourself by using good judgment and following some safety guidelines.

On-Line Safety

On-line dating is extremely popular. It is featured on news programs, and there are ads running on prime-time television advertising some of the larger dating sites. But is it safe? There have certainly been some unfortunate incidents where people have been hurt by people they met on-line, whether on a dating site or otherwise. But statistically speaking, on-line dating is probably no more or less safe than off-line dating.

Anyone you meet is a mystery that has to be revealed as you get to know the person. But on-line there are more people that can see you than if you were in a public place, and you have viewable personal information on a profile that is not visible to someone who just sees you across a crowded room.

You should take some precautions on-line to decrease any risk that a predator may be able to infiltrate your life. This list is certainly not exhaustive, but here are a few tips you should consider when dating on-line:

Choose an Appropriate Screen Name: Pick a screen name that does not reveal your true identity (and avoid a provocative screen name; it might be a head-turner, but may give the wrong impression). If you start emailing or chatting with someone, you may want to use only your first name at least for some period of time. As far as the other person's screen name, don't make too many assumptions about it. For example, the person may say, "Sensitive and Fun", and the person may be neither of those things. Or the person may use "MD" as part of the screen name. That may mean "Medical Doctor", but it could just as easily mean "Mad Dog" or nothing at all.

Post Current Pictures: You should put up a flattering, but not too provocative current photograph of yourself. Avoid tight clothing and bathing suit photos. That's true for men and women. "Bulges" and "visible curves" may give the wrong impression. As far as the other person's photographs, know that a picture may be worth a thousand words, but only if it's recent and candid. Retouched photos by a professional photographer or a photo from ten years ago will not tell you much about what he or she looks like today, and do know that someone may be devious and not even use his or her own photograph. If he or she is too good-looking for words, consider that the photo may not be legitimate.

Avoid Sharing Too Much Personal Information: Avoid including facts in your profile and in email or chat correspondence that can be used by someone with ulterior motives to identify where you live or how to call you on the telephone (with a home telephone number, a reverse directory can easily yield a home address, for example). As far as the other person's personal information, if he or she is willing to reveal a significant amount of personal information early on, take caution. He or she may be attempting to establish a level of intimacy that may be premature. Sometimes the other person may provide his or her phone number right away to try to move the discussion off-line. You don't have to pick up the phone just because you have the number. You can continue the dialogue on-line and move-off line when you're ready. And of course, any and all personal information that is verifiable, should be checked out. See Review Your Fish for more information.

Consider a P.O. Box: Consider using a post office box for any snail mail. You can set up a small box at a local post office for a nominal annual fee and check it periodically for snail mail.

Establish a Separate Email Account: Establish a separate email account for correspondence through your dating site or for direct emailing. A permanent email address like your work email, for example, should not be used. Aside from your employer's policies, you will just have revealed where you work, and that's like giving out your home address not the way to go. Be sure to turn off your electronic signature for email correspondence; you don't want to inadvertently give your contact information to the other person before you're ready. As for the other person, if he or she uses an identifiable permanent email address, that may mean that he or she doesn't have another email account; or it may mean that the person is too lazy to set one up; or it may mean the person has poor judgment. Judge for yourself.

Save Correspondence: You may want to keep track of your correspondence with the other person in case there is a problem and you need to report it to the dating site or worse, provide it to the appropriate authorities, if the other person becomes inappropriate and legal steps need to be taken to stop his or her behavior. Learn how to save instant messages and other chat correspondence. Make sure your email account is set up to save sent messages and that your email account doesn't automatically delete messages after a certain time if just left in your inbox; if that's the case, you may need to move these messages to a dedicated folder.

Trust Your Instincts: You are the best judge of the worthiness of the prospect you are communicating with. If you feel uncomfortable, your gut may be giving you all the signals you need. You are under no obligation to continue corresponding with anyone. Stop corresponding immediately with someone if you feel threatened or harassed. If the person continues to contact you, you should consider filtering the correspondence as spam or otherwise block receipt of the correspondence. Certainly don't respond to it, as that may escalate the situation. If necessary, contact the dating site for assistance or appropriate authorities, if the behavior persists.

Off-Line Safety

Whether you've met someone on-line or started with an off-line contact, ultimately you'll eventually go off-line if you plan to pursue a relationship. It is important to act responsibly when you start going out in the real world. Here are a few tips for dating safely off-line:

Don't Rush To Meet Off-Line: The amount of information revealed in an on-line profile can be misleading. Sometimes you may feel like you've known a person all your life. But don't rush into anything you're not ready for. You may want to start with a telephone call. Avoid calling from work. If you call from home, be sure to block your telephone number or use a public phone or cell phone.

Meet in a Public Place: When you do meet, meet in a well-lit, crowded public place.

Tell a Friend Where You're Going: Tell a friend about your date. You might even have your friend call you on your mobile phone at a particular time, just to check in on you.

Take Your Cell Phone: Be sure to have your cell phone with you just in case of an emergency.

Avoid Sharing Too Much Personal Information: Just as with on-line dating, you have to be careful about giving away too many personal facts that could be used by someone with ulterior motives to identify where you live or how to call you on the telephone. Remember: With a home telephone number, a reverse directory can easily yield a home address.

Avoid Becoming Intoxicated: You should take caution in your alcohol and drug consumption. Aside from the consequences of any possible illegal conduct you may engage in, if your judgment is impaired, you may be putting yourself in physical harm's way. You may also be compromising your good judgment about whether to get into a car with a stranger or to go home with a stranger. Unfortunately, we all know that there are date-rape drugs that some predators use; if you feel sick, woosy or otherwise impaired, you should let someone at the public place know besides your date and get help immediately.

Do Not Accept a Ride from Someone You Just Met: Parents are quick to tell their children never to get into a car with a stranger. Why then are adults so quick to jump into that convertible or fast sports car with someone they don't know? Unless you know the other person and trust him or her, never, never, never, get into a car with that person. That means, don't have the person pick you up before the date or take you home afterwards. Take your own car if you are going to a separate destination, and if the person thinks he or she is being chivalrous or otherwise helpful by saying "I'll take you home" and you have no car, take public transportation or a cab. Better to be safe than sorry.

Avoid Intimate Contact Early: You should never rush to go home with a person, even if you take your own car. You cannot know what kind of health risk you may be entering into by jumping into a physical relationship with someone you don't know. See Intimacy Protocol for more information. And of course, don't let him or her come to your place instead. Remember: Among other things, you were trying to avoid giving out personal information like your home address!

Special Advice for Long-Distance Relationships: If this is the first time you're meeting in person after corresponding with him or her on-line, be sure that one of you stays in a hotel or with a friend locally. You don't need the pressure and safety risk of having the other person at your home or you at his or hers. You may not even want to tell him or her where you're staying for safety reasons. And don't go to his or her hotel or to the friend's place or vice versa. Certainly you wouldn't go home with someone you don't know; you should take precautions as you begin to spend time in-person with someone with whom you've been having a long-distance relationship.

Try to Verify Any Questionable Facts: The person you meet may or may not be truthful about information he or she provides. You should always seek to verify uncertain information and to watch out for signs that someone is not being as honest with you as would expect. See Review Your Fish for more information.

Trust Your Instincts: Just as with on-line dating, in the off-line world, you are the best judge of the worthiness of the prospect. If you feel uncomfortable, you can call the game early. If the person tries to stop you from leaving, you should be polite, but firm. If you need assistance, ask someone else in the public space to assist you or contact appropriate authorities. If all else fails, scream "Fire;" you'll attract the help you need and hopefully scare the other person away.

You will likely meet new, and hopefully interesting, people as a result of your use of this Website and the Materials (as defined in the Terms and Conditions) and the Company's products and services, including, but not limited to, events we sponsor. You should always be careful about disclosing personal information to people whom you do not know; your contact information, including, but not limited to, your full name, address and telephone number, should be given out with caution. If you decide to date anyone that you meet on-line or at any of our events, you should be careful, just as you would when meeting a stranger. Take precautions to protect your personal, physical safety, as well as the security of your information, to prevent harassment or other harm. As for your personal email address, you should avoid giving it out to those that may use it for commercial solicitations and other uses inconsistent with our policies.