The divorce rate is somewhere between 40 and 50 percent, depending on what kind of statistic you are using and whether you're talking about men or women, their particular age group, etc.  But given that some 50 to 60 percent of the dating population is divorced or headed in that direction, it would be good to think about the consequences of dating a separate or divorced person, since it's bound to happen to most everyone sooner or later. 

In Dating the Divorced Man: Sort Through the Baggage to Decide If He's Right for You, Dr. Christie Hartman, a psychologist, researcher and author who has conducted extensive research on dating, divorce and stepfamilies, addresses a number of issues that any woman would have to consider when dating a man who is either separated or divorced.  (And if you're a man dating a separated or divorced woman, this book can also arguably provide you some guidance, as well, although this book was written for women.) 

The separated or divorced man is unlike the never-married single man.  More often than not, he will have financial obligations to his ex-wife, or even child support payments to make.  Can he even afford a new relationship? 

But beyond the financial issues, there is the "failed marriage" concept.  He may have given it his all and somehow the relationship still failed.  Or perhaps he didn't do all he could and has feelings of guilt.  He certainly will have "baggage" and emotional scars from the experience.  That baggage may or may not be compatible with your baggage. 

Dr. Hartman has conducted numerous interviews, including with women who have dated separated and divorced men.  In addition, she has had personal experience dating separated and divorced men.  She points out that many times a woman's needs are simply not met by these men because they are too busy.  They have to deal with the unwinding of the marriage, if they are still married, but even if they are already divorced, they will likely (and in this reviewer's opinion rightfully) put their kids first.  So unless a man is a really good time manager, the new woman on the scene may be given short shrift. 

It's not the mere fact of being separated or divorced.  The focus should be on the particular issues facing that specific individual.  Everyone has to be evaluated on a case-by-case basis, but in this how-to manual, Dr. Hartman advises women on what to watch out for generally -- what are dealbreakers or just problems that come with the territory of dating this pool of men. 

Through dead-on hypotheticals, she provides a means for you to evaluate whether dating a man that you have identified as a potential partner, who is separated or divorced, is right for you.  Only you can be the judge of that, but this book can help you and is ripe for reading even if you haven't found yourself in the potentially precarious situation of dating a separated or divorced man yet.  If you're in the dating pool long enough, you're bound to date some separated and divorced men sooner or later -- whether you're on your first or second time around.  So get busy reading and maybe you'll save yourself some tears and heartache or otherwise know how to navigate the choppy waters toward Paradise Island!