People think that women are the only ones concerned about money.  My experience has taught me that men are also pretty tapped into the money scene themselves.  Three recent experiences with money-oriented men have almost made me want to run screaming for the hills!

All of the men I'm speaking about here I met through the Internet.  So when I first met or talked with them, it was truly the first opportunity to interact.  Money discussions, in my estimation, are premature with people you barely know.  After all, there are many couples that actually get married that haven't gone through all their financial issues with a fine-tooth comb.  As that FreeCreditReport.com ad will tell you it is important to check your significant other's financial status, but does it have to be at the outset?

I went out with this extremely -- and I do mean extremely -- wealthy guy a couple of years ago (MD by training, but he hasn't practiced in a very long time).  I guess he wanted to make sure that I was not poor or in the gold-digger category. 

I'm a professional, and I earn a good living by most American standards, but I, by no means, make the kind of money he does.  He rakes money in like it's leaves in the fall. 

It was our second date.  We were on our way to a Rod Stewart concert (which I bought the tickets for, by the way), and out of the blue, he point blank asked me how much money I made.  I was shocked!  I thought we were getting to know each other.  After all, another man with whom I had been involved for a few years never asked me any such thing and only after several years asked me what I paid for my house, mostly out of curiosity, not out of nosiness.  And he had more than enough resources given his financial services position. 

But this fish-around-in-my-income-stream nosy-nate -- well, I have to say that the awkward moment he created lasted the rest of the evening.  I simply said, we can discuss that, when we get to know each other better, but that was really not satisfying to him, and for me, I kept thinking how completely rude he was.  It sure put a damper on an otherwise nice evening.

We went to the concert and out again a couple of other times, but the relationship never really went anywhere.  I owe its failure to thrive to the question he posed that fateful evening.  No doubt he thought I wasn't willing to share enough, and I thought he was looking for too much information too soon.  Talking about money too soon is a little like having sex too soon; it's intimate but awkward!

The next two men didn't even make it from the phone to a first date -- one because he was so pre-occupied with making sure we were at least on par with one another money wise, and the other because he was so concerned whether I would be able to support him!

An ex-Army doctor, now in private practice, earns a decent living, but is probably more in my category of the professional earner.  We started talking on the phone, prior to a date, about real estate because we both own some property, but he immediately turned the questions into a major fishing expedition.  He wanted to know what some of my property was worth today (I own property in some parts of the country not terribly impacted (thankfully) by the recent downturn in the overall real estate market), and then he honed in on the age old question, "So, how much money do you make?" 

Despite my protestations that these questions were premature and perhaps too forward for a phone call, he persisted.  I finally had to put my foot down and tell him I wouldn't answer those questions.  He sent me a farewell email that proceeded to put me down -- to tell me I had no idea what type of man I was looking for.  No, I do indeed know what type of man I'm looking for, and he wasn't it!

But neither was the third man in my money-manic trio.  This guy really took the booby prize! 

On the first phone call we had after connecting on-line, he explained that he doesn't earn a lot and was really trying to figure out what he wanted to do with his career.  That I could have accepted. 

However, he proceeded to explain that he would be perfectly happy to stay at home and raise kids, and he really wanted to know how I would feel about that -- how I would feel about being with someone that doesn't earn as much as I do?  And I could have almost accepted that, except that I am not really looking for a stay-at-home-dad type. 

But when he finally started explaining the economics of me having another mouth to feed him; and explaining the fact that rent or mortgage payments and utility bills are pretty much the same whether it's one or two in the house (so it's just food and incidentals), I had to draw the line.  That's an Economics 101 lesson I don't need!

Money make the world go round, but come on, can't guys at least wait until the third date to get into such personal money issues?!

I'll make a deal with you.  If you don't ask me on the first or second date how much money I make, then I won't ask you "What's In Your Wallet?!"