Have you ever thought to yourself: If I only had someone to share expenses with, I could live a happier, better, easier...life?

Money is a big motivator. It's a motivator for people to work, and it's also a motivator for people to pair up -- and possibly marry. With the rising cost of basic staples, like bread and milk, and the soaring price of gasoline, having two people to share the financial burdens of life is, to many, a big plus.

The economic advantages of pairing up are obvious. One rent or mortgage payment. One set of utility bills. Cooking for two has a better economy of scale than those solo meals. You might even be able to share a car and save on the car payments and the endless filling of the bottomless tank.

But is that enough of a reason to pair up? History says "yes".

History's Lesson: 1 + 1 Is Desirable

Historically, for the upper class, a man would virtually never marry out of his social (a/k/a economic) class, and even for the wealthy, the woman's dowry was especially important.  For the woman, the economic stature of the man was of critical importance.  Would he be able to support a wife and children?  The economic union would ensure that both the man and the woman maintained a style of living consistent with their childhood experience and stature in society.  

But even for those who were not wealthy, there were economic considerations associated with coupling.  For example, when the U.S. was founded, the country was by no means a rich one.  Everything had to be built from scratch.  Planting fields for farming and constructing towns, schools, churches and houses was labor intensive.  By bringing couples together, the work load could be divided and more could be accomplished.

"Traditional" households, where one person (usually the man) works outside the home and the other person (usually the woman) stays at home and tends to the family's needs continues today for some. The responsibility of providing monetary resources falls on one person, while the responsibility of caring for the home, cooking meals, child-rearing and other domestic activities falls on the other person. The bread-winner saves money by not having to hire a maid, a cook, a baby-sitter, and stay-at-homer does not have to toil to please a boss for wages.

But non-traditional households can also benefit economically from togetherness.  The working couples of today are well-suited for sharing economic responsibility and domestic duties. The biggest advantage of sharing the economic responsibility is that both parties can pursue their own careers, and these careers may not need to earn as much as if either of them would alone in order to have the same home, "toys", vacation -- indeed, lifestyle.  

When people come together understanding the importance that economics may play in their relationship, they are better able to handle the economic pressures that these challenging times may place on them. Depending on the economic style of one or both of the players, the tough economic times may make things worse. Gold-diggers and even people who go dutch on everything may have more difficulty making their relationships work in today's penny-pinching time.  A more sharing approach is likely to result in a money-mix that can thrive in these conditions.

Gold-Diggers Should Dig Elsewhere

If you are only deciding on a mate at this time in your life because you are on skid-row -- that is, perhaps you've lost your job, you've lost your apartment, etc. -- then matching up in tough economic times is probably not a good choice.

If you're only chasing money because you have a dream of dating out of your league and moving up the food chain, then you really should rethink your strategy.  While it is true that people can "marry up", if you are only motivated by money, and there is no underlying feeling for the person, then you should take your gold-digging tools and explore elsewhere because you aren't likely to find true love with your shovel.

Even if you're not looking for true love, how will you feel if your Wall Street dynamo loses his or her job? It's not so easy to get another one of those six or even seven figure jobs, and if all you loved was the money, then having him or her hanging around the house waiting for the phone to ring is certainly not what you will have bargained for.

Dutch-Treat Folks

We all hope that people marry for love, but when people marry for love, they still have to consider the impact that money will have on the success of their relationship.

There are couples who truly want to share everything -- from the expenses of rent/mortgage payments, to car payments, to dividing the check at a restaurant. These folks would probably not act any different in good or bad economic times. They simply split the bills down the middle.

In tough economic times, if one person loses a job or has unexpected expenses come up, such as educational costs of being retooled or finishing a degree to be able to earn more money in a current industry, or perhaps being the one who has to take care of a sick or aging family member, how will these dutch treat folks handle the situation? Will the couple be able to shift the monetary expenses to one of them, while the other is dealing with different bills? This will depend on the couple, but consider that people that share everything are sometimes not pleased when another person can't carry his or her own weight.

Share And Share Alike According To Your Means

In these challenging economic times, where there is a disproportionate amount of money earned between the parties, the issue is how they feel about the difference. When they adopt a true sharing approach based on what they each have to offer, relationship success -- where money is concerned -- should be theirs.

Let's face it, a school teacher compared to a physician is not sitting pretty with gasoline over $4 a gallon. But even the physician might well benefit from some of the things that the school teacher has to offer. The physician may have his or her own practice and may be struggling to pay back student loans and pay the malpractice premium each month. He or she may be better off having someone who can provide some of the health insurance benefits that come along with the school system. And certainly if they want children, having someone who can be on a school year schedule and be out at the end of the school day can avoid the high cost of child care and after-school programs.

Each can help the other get ahead, without the feeling that one is taking care of the other. And by no means are they splitting everything -- as the dutch-treat folks do.  Perhaps the school teacher inherited a weekend get-away house, and can provide that for the two of them to enjoy, while the physician has a great condo to offer. By coming together, they each improve the other's lifestyle. They can have more together than they could separately.

Making A Good Decision For Love Or Money?

No one should marry for money alone, but in times like this, it might be wise not to marry for love alone either. Historically people did not marry for love alone, and if history has taught us anything, it is to be cautious about what people's motives are when seeking a match.

How does a person know if they are pairing up for love or just money? It's not always easy to tell, since a person who showers you with gifts, trips, nice meals and other monetary rewards can certainly buy your love, but you'll know. Try to drown out the sound of jangling coins so you can truly listen to your heart; let your conscience be your guide.

As for the money-bags person, if you talk about these issues with the other person, you should be able to judge whether that person is genuinely interested in you or just your money. And in desperate times, sometimes desperate measures are necessary; when in doubt, consider a pre-nup!