There is a political expression that goes a long way in the dating world – whether it’s on-line or off-line: "Trust, but verify."

Whenever you meet someone new, and he or she tells you certain facts about themselves, the information may or may not be true. Information contained on a website profile, in an email or otherwise is subject to the same issues; just because it's "in print" doesn't mean it is true (no more than tabloid headlines indicating some celebrity's baby was kidnapped by aliens is true...). In fact, you have to learn to "read between the lines" and to "read the fine print".

If someone says on-line or off-line that he or she is single, that may or may not be true. Sometimes a person is separated only; he or she may or may not be going back to the spouse, but some people live separated for years, and if it's your goal to meet someone who is available for marriage now, this person is not likely to be a good candidate. Sometimes a person wants to meet someone else, while still married, for an affair. If that's not what you had in mind, then of course, this would be a problem. Look for signs. Does he or she give you only a cell number? Do you have restrictions on when you can call? Does he or she have only certain evenings available for dates? While none of these indicators may be dispositive, they can be tell-tell signs of a married person.

If someone says in an on-line dating profile that he or she is happy to meet anyone single ages 21 to 99, it may mean that he or she didn't bother to change defaults on an age range that some dating websites may utilize; or it may mean that he or she is truly open to any relationship – irrespective of age; or it may mean that he or she is a prostitute/gigalo and responder beware! Look for signs. Does he or she say provocative things in his or her profile? Does he or she post risqué pictures? While the person may simply be sensual, the person may just be looking for a romp – or worse, looking to get paid to get laid.

If someone tells you off-line about his or her grand employment, you have to ask yourself, is that true or an exaggeration? For example, suppose he or she works says "I work at a big finance company," you may make assumptions about what he or she does there. You may assume he or she is a banker or someone high-up the food chain when, in fact, he or she works in the mailroom. While there is nothing shameful about working in the mailroom, if you have a successful career and are looking for a true counterpart, his or her lower level employment status may not mesh with your path. That person may even encourage you to believe the assumptions that you make. Worse still, he or she may be looking to "trade up" – so to speak – and be interested in your success (and presumably dollars that come with it). Look for signs. After getting to know you, does he or she give you a telephone number where you can call him or her at work? Does he or she have business cards? Lower level employees may not have a dedicated work line. If you know where the person works, you can always call the company and ask to speak to him or her. If you hear "Mailroom" when you expect to hear, "Mr./Ms. Johnson's office", you may need to clarify the situation (after all, the assumptions you make are your own), or move on to greener pastures, if the status is a big deal to you, or he or she mislead you or outright lied.

Sexual orientation and health status are big issues to consider when dating. You can always ask for a copy of someone's blood test results, but remember, that these are not definitive. Does he or she have any obvious signs of poor health, e.g., lesions? Has he or she expressed an opinion that "bare-back is best"? Does he or she seem reckless in other aspects of his or her life? While you may still choose to engage in an intimate relationship with this person, you should always use safe sex protocols. Better to be safe than sorry. See Intimacy Protocol for more information.

Most of the things that you want to verify can be verified by yourself relatively easily. Indeed, a little Internet research, and you may be able to turn up a whole slew of facts about the person you never dreamed – some of which may be good (e.g., perhaps he or she is modest and didn't want to tell you about all the awards he or she has received or charitable donations he or she has made) – but some of which may be bad (e.g., perhaps he or she has a criminal record).

While we don't encourage "paranoia," we urge caution a/k/a guarded optimism. If you need professional help, you can always turn to a private investigator to assist you, if you are getting serious and have doubts about the person and their truthfulness.

Certain facts that are verifiable may need to be verified. Even the most simple facts may need to be verified, such as the age of a person. If you're looking for a woman of child-bearing years, for example, you may not want a fifty-year-old, notwithstanding the medical miracles we read about everyday in the newspaper. A quick look-see at a passport or driver's license will solve that question.

More challenging, however, are a person's motivations and thoughts – what you can't see with your own two eyes. The inner elements of a person's life are certainly difficult to discern. We all rely on what people tell us they are thinking, but you have to look at behavior and judge accordingly.

Anything about which you are uncertain that you can verify – well, you should, and you should verify it as early as possible. Remember: Trust is critical in a relationship. If you can't trust a person, you probably have little future with that person. And of course, trust is not something to be taken for granted; it has to be earned.

New Amsterdam Ventures, LLC does not screen people registering for any products or services offered by the Company, including, but not limited to, events we sponsor. The Company does not verify information provided by patrons and cannot guarantee that all patrons are eligible singles or that such patrons are honest about personal information they may provide to you on-line or off-line. The Company is not liable for any inaccuracies or untruths of statements made by patrons as to their identity, marital status, sexual orientation, religion and other personal information. The Company advises you to verify any and all information about patrons of interest to you yourself.