There are a number of self-help books on the market right now that reveal a painful, but provocative truth. When the person you think could be your "soul mate" turns out not to be as affectionate as you'd like, to remember your birthday, or perhaps to even return your calls at all - well, he or she is probably "just not that into you".

Greg Behrendt, a former executive story editor for Sex and the City has made a big entry into the market with his best-seller, He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys (The Newly Expanded Edition) (co-author Liz Tuccillo). The message of this book is simple. Don't kid yourself. Find someone who will care. After all, if a man really likes you, "there ain't nothing that's going to get in his way."

Ladies, let's face it. That's certainly a message we could have all heard a little sooner. But beyond this simple message, the book is mostly filler. Still it's comforting to know that you're not the only one who sat around and waited for someone to call only to find out later that he was out with someone else.

And in case you thought you couldn't remember the truth or that you would fall off the wagon and revert to your old ways after the truth was revealed to you, you can purchase, the Pocket Guide to He's Just Not That into You: The No-excuses Truth to Understanding Guys by the same authors, which you can carry in your purse to keep you on the straight and narrow. And no, it doesn't tell you anything more than the full version; it's the "Cliff-Notes" version of what was already a pretty easy to remember mantra.

What is fascinating is not the message itself, which is for many a true revelation, but the response the book has engendered. Commentators have jumped on the band wagon to either say, "Yeah, that's right", or "No way; you've gotten it all wrong."

Perhaps the most provocative response has been Be Honest--You're Not That Into Him Either: Raise Your Standards and Reach for the Love You Deserve. Author and sex therapist Ian Kerner, the "date doctor" for Lifetime TV, responds to Behrendt's message and encourages women to raise their standards and dump anyone who they are just hanging onto to pass the time.

These books are not for women only, though. Men suffer through these same issues from time to time, although the deck is generally stacked in men's favor in terms of steering the relationship.

The bottom line for either gender is, of course, if someone doesn't act like they care, they probably don't. So get over it. Move on. Find someone else. After all, there are lots of "fish in the sea"!