Q: Dear Emily: I have been dating two women at the same time for the last three months. I am finding it a little hard to juggle because each of them wants to go out on Saturday night. Right now, I’ve been able to work it out with a few white lies here and there, while alternating weekends with them. I really like both of them and don’t want to have to make a choice between them, but I know, deep down, it’s not fair to them. Should I just tell them that I want to date them both? Should I just break it off with the one I don’t like as much? What if I let the wrong one go? Signed: Steady But Unsure.

A: Dear Steady But Unsure: You’re absolutely right. It’s not fair to them. Especially since they don’t know that that you’re double-dipping. You can never be 100% sure you’re making the right decision by letting someone step out of your life, but you have to go by how you feel, and if you’re feeling more partial to one of them, then you should focus your efforts on that one person and see where it goes. In other words, you’ve got to “fish or cut bait”. Implied, but not stated in your question is that you are being intimate with them both. That presents health risks and is an emotional kettle waiting to boil over. Setting that aside for now, how would you feel if one or both of those women were seeing other people? If they are both wanting to go out on Saturday night, odds are they are not seeing anyone else, and even if you’ve never talked about having a monogamous relationship, i.e., not seeing other people, that doesn’t mean after three months that they aren’t both “in that place” in the “relationship” – a relationship that, from their point of view, is going somewhere based on the passage of time (three months can be a lifetime to some…), but at least for one of them is about to hit a dead end. You may or may not want to tell the one you’re about to dump that you’ve been seeing someone else. Think about how you would feel if you were being compared to someone else. It hurts. Of course, you may or may not want to tell the one you are staying with that you’ve broken it off with another person. You could risk losing the one you want to keep, if she finds out if you’ve been dating two people at once. If you really want her to be your steady date, and you can give up that second slot for alternating weekends and not fill it with someone new, then maybe you’re ready to have a conversation about exclusivity. Hopefully you won’t find out that she doesn’t want to just see only you or that she has been de facto dating only you right now – while she’s waiting for Mr. Right to come along.

Q: Dear Emily: I am self-conscious about how I look in a bathing suit, and it’s hard enough when Summer comes and I can at least have a chance to have a tan, but my boyfriend of 2 months has proposed that we take a Winter vacation together to somewhere warm. I’ve put on some holiday pounds already, and I’m as white as a sheet. I don’t want to seem like all those women who are so concerned with their body image that they make their significant others give them compliments to make them feel better. Should I go? Should I tell him how I am feeling? Help me, please. Signed: Great Butt, But...

A: Dear Great Butt, But…: If you really have such a great butt, what are you worried about?! You are probably sensitized to this issue because of the highly publicized photos of recently engaged Jennifer Love Hewitt. This size 2 celebrity was called fat. Photos taken during a celebratory trip to Hawaii with her fiancé were posted to the Internet and people started talking. Could a size 2 really be fat? The answer depends on your perspective, of course. And no one retouched those photos, so her cellulite was in full view. Just know that your boyfriend has asked you to take this trip, which means he wants to spend time with you – whatever you look like. Assuming he’s already seen your body in all its glory on other occasions, he’s probably not going to care about how you look in a swim suit – just that you’re ready for some fun in the sun. So get over it. Get packed. And get going!

Emily has a doctorate in Social Psychology and is a proponent of on-line dating as another way of meeting people. She is Single and lives in New York City.