(Last Updated on August 27, 2009)

We have prepared this list of Safety Tips that we hope will contribute toward your safe practices in both on-line and off-line dating. For more information on dating safety, please review the Safety First section of our latest issue of FishPrint^SM, our periodic newsletter, which has tips on Dating Safety from which this list was taken, how to Review Your Fish to make sure he or she is being honest with you and Intimacy Protocol for when you're ready to take that next step in relationship.

On-Line Safety

Choose an Appropriate Screen Name: Pick a screen name that does not reveal your true identity (and avoid a provocative screen name; it might be a head-turner, but may give the wrong impression). If you start emailing or chatting with someone, you may want to use only your first name - at least for some period of time. As far as the other person's screen name, don't make too many assumptions about it. For example, the person may say, "Sensitive and Fun", and the person may be neither of those things. Or the person may use "MD" as part of the screen name. That may mean "Medical Doctor", but it could just as easily mean "Mad Dog" or nothing at all.

Post Current Pictures: You should put up a flattering, but not too provocative current photograph of yourself. Avoid tight clothing and bathing suit photos. That's true for men and women. "Bulges" and "visible curves" may give the wrong impression. As far as the other person's photographs, know that a picture may be worth a thousand words, but only if it's recent and candid. Retouched photos by a professional photographer or a photo from ten years ago will not tell you much about what he or she looks like today, and do know that someone may be devious and not even use his or her own photograph. If he or she is too good-looking for words, consider that the photo may not be legitimate.

Avoid Sharing Too Much Personal Information: Avoid including facts in your profile and in email or chat correspondence that can be used by someone with ulterior motives to identify where you live or how to call you on the telephone (with a home telephone number, a reverse directory can easily yield a home address, for example). As far as the other person's personal information, if he or she is willing to reveal a significant amount of personal information early on, take caution. He or she may be attempting to establish a level of intimacy that may be premature. Sometimes the other person may provide his or her phone number right away to try to move the discussion off-line. You don't have to pick up the phone just because you have the number. You can continue the dialogue on-line and move-off line when you're ready. And of course, any and all personal information that is verifiable, should be checked out. See Review Your Fish in FishPrint^SM for more information.

Consider a P.O. Box: Consider using a post office box for any snail mail. You can set up a small box at a local post office for a nominal annual fee and check it periodically for snail mail.

Establish a Separate Email Account: Establish a separate email account for correspondence through your dating site or for direct emailing. A permanent email address like your work email, for example, should not be used. Aside from your employer's policies, you will just have revealed where you work, and that's like giving out your home address - not the way to go. Be sure to turn off your electronic signature for email correspondence; you don't want to inadvertently give your contact information to the other person before you're ready. As for the other person, if he or she uses an identifiable permanent email address, that may mean that he or she doesn't have another email account; or it may mean that the person is too lazy to set one up; or it may mean the person has poor judgment. Judge for yourself.

Do Not Send People You Don’t Know Money: Unfortunately, not everyone you may meet on-line has the same goal as you do – to meet Mr./Ms. Right. Some people come onto websites to look for vulnerable people, who are completely trusting that the other person is saying all the right things for all the right reasons. Sometimes con-artists or scammers pretend to care about you and say such romantic, seemingly heart-felt things, that you cannot help but be moved by their words. Such tricksters, however, often turn the conversation to money or material possessions of value like cars, watches, etc. They may ask for a small amount at first – just a few hundred dollars for some type of distress situation or even for a plane ticket to visit you. Don’t be fooled. Anyone who is asking you for money, when you haven’t even met him or her yet, is to be avoided because you are looking to be in a loving relationship, not to be someone’s piggy bank. Even as you get to know him or her, be wary if that person is more into your wallet than you!

Save Correspondence: You may want to keep track of your correspondence with the other person in case there is a problem and you need to report it to the dating site or worse, provide it to the appropriate authorities, if the other person becomes inappropriate and legal steps need to be taken to stop his or her behavior. Learn how to save instant messages and other chat correspondence. Make sure your email account is set up to save sent messages and that your email account doesn't automatically delete messages after a certain time if just left in your inbox; if that's the case, you may need to move these messages to a dedicated folder.

Trust Your Instincts: You are the best judge of the worthiness of the prospect you are communicating with. If you feel uncomfortable, your gut may be giving you all the signals you need. You are under no obligation to continue corresponding with anyone. Stop corresponding immediately with someone if you feel threatened or harassed. If the person continues to contact you, you should consider filtering the correspondence as spam or otherwise block receipt of the correspondence. Certainly don't respond to it, as that may escalate the situation. If necessary, contact the dating site for assistance or appropriate authorities, if the behavior persists.

Off-Line Safety

Whether you've met someone on-line or started with an off-line contact, ultimately you'll eventually go off-line if you plan to pursue a relationship. It is important to act responsibly when you start going out in the real world. Here are a few tips for dating safely off-line:

Don't Rush To Meet Off-Line: The amount of information revealed in an on-line profile can be misleading. Sometimes you may feel like you've known a person all your life. But don't rush into anything you're not ready for. You may want to start with a telephone call. Avoid calling from work. If you call from home, be sure to block your telephone number or use a public phone or cell phone.

Meet in a Public Place: When you do meet, meet in a well-lit, crowded public place.

Tell a Friend Where You're Going: Tell a friend about your date. You might even have your friend call you on your mobile phone at a particular time, just to check in on you.

Take Your Cell Phone: Be sure to have your cell phone with you - just in case of an emergency.

Avoid Sharing Too Much Personal Information: Just as with on-line dating, you have to be careful about giving away too many personal facts that could be used by someone with ulterior motives to identify where you live or how to call you on the telephone. Remember: With a home telephone number, a reverse directory can easily yield a home address.

Avoid Becoming Intoxicated: You should take caution in your alcohol and drug consumption. Aside from the consequences of any possible illegal conduct you may engage in, if your judgment is impaired, you may be putting yourself in physical harm's way. You may also be compromising your good judgment about whether to get into a car with a stranger or to go home with a stranger. Unfortunately, we all know that there are date-rape drugs that some predators use; if you feel sick, woozy or otherwise impaired, you should let someone at the public place know besides your date and get help immediately.

Do Not Accept a Ride from Someone You Just Met: Parents are quick to tell their children never to get into a car with a stranger. Why then are adults so quick to jump into that convertible or fast sports car with someone they don't know? Unless you know the other person and trust him or her, never, never, never, get into a car with that person. That means, don't have the person pick you up before the date or take you home afterwards. Take your own car if you are going to a separate destination, and if the person thinks he or she is being chivalrous or otherwise helpful by saying "I'll take you home" and you have no car, take public transportation or a cab. Better to be safe than sorry.

Avoid Intimate Contact Early: You should never rush to go home with a person, even if you take your own car. You cannot know what kind of health risk you may be entering into by jumping into a physical relationship with someone you don't know. See Intimacy Protocol in FishPrint^SM for more information. And of course, don't let him or her come to your place instead. Remember: Among other things, you were trying to avoid giving out personal information - like your home address!

Special Advice for Long-Distance Relationships: If this is the first time you're meeting in person after corresponding with him or her on-line, be sure that one of you stays in a hotel or with a friend locally. You don't need the pressure and safety risk of having the other person at your home or you at his or hers. You may not even want to tell him or her where you're staying for safety reasons. And don't go to his or her hotel or to the friend's place or vice versa. Certainly you wouldn't go home with someone you don't know; you should take precautions as you begin to spend time in-person with someone with whom you've been having a long-distance relationship.

Do Not Give Away Your Money to a New Love Interest: Sometimes the person you are meeting is not who he or she claims to be. There are unfortunately con-artists and scammers pretending that they want relationships in order to get you to give them money. Don’t be fooled. Anyone who is asking you for money or other valuable material possessions too early in a relationship is looking at you to be the big bank account from which they can withdraw until they’ve used up all the cash and then they can move on to another unsuspecting person. Hard luck stories or even stories of a need for travel funds are sometimes clues that these potential suiters are not legitimate. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Try to Verify Any Questionable Facts: The person you meet may or may not be truthful about information he or she provides. You should always seek to verify uncertain information and to watch out for signs that someone is not being as honest with you as would expect. See Review Your Fish in FishPrint^SM for more information.

Trust Your Instincts: Just as with on-line dating, in the off-line world, you are the best judge of the worthiness of the prospect. If you feel uncomfortable, you can call the game early. If the person tries to stop you from leaving, you should be polite, but firm. If you need assistance, ask someone else in the public space to assist you or contact appropriate authorities. If all else fails, scream "Fire;" you'll attract the help you need and hopefully scare the other person away.

You will likely meet new, and hopefully interesting, people as a result of your use of this Website and the Materials (as defined in the Terms and Conditions) and products and services offered by New Amsterdam Ventures, LLC, including, but not limited to, events we sponsor and your membership allowing you to post your profile and photographs and contact other members.

New Amsterdam Ventures, LLC does not screen people registering for any products or services offered by the Company, including, but not limited to, events we sponsor or membership allowing you to post your profile and photographs and contact other members. The Company does not verify information provided by patrons and cannot guarantee that all patrons are eligible singles or that such patrons are honest about personal information they may provide to you on-line or off-line. The Company is not liable for any inaccuracies or untruths of statements made by patrons as to their identity, marital status, sexual orientation, religion and other personal information. The Company advises you to verify any and all information about patrons of interest to you yourself.

You should always be careful about disclosing personal information to people whom you do not know; your contact information, including, but not limited to, your full name, address and telephone number, should be given out with caution. If you decide to date anyone that you meet on-line or at an event we sponsor, you should be careful, just as you would when meeting a stranger. Take precautions to protect your personal, physical safety, as well as the security of your information, to prevent harassment or other harm. As for your personal email address, you should avoid giving it out to those that may use it for commercial solicitations and other uses inconsistent with our policies.

The Company reserves the right to update and revise these Safety Tips at any time. You can determine if these Safety Tips have been revised by referring to the "Last Updated" date at the top of this page, or if you write to us at terms@FishInTheSea.com and put in the subject line "Changes To Safety Tips", the Company will inform you by email each time the Safety Tips are updated. We recommend that you regularly review our Safety Tips to remind yourself of some of the dating safety protocols we highlight. While we have addressed some issues that you may encounter on-line or off-line, the Safety Tips are not a substitute for your own judgment and common sense. You must be vigilant when swimming in the Sea Of Love^SM, as there is always an undertow, and you don’t want to get caught in it!